Competition is often seen as a healthy motivator that encourages personal growth and improvement. However, for some individuals, competition can take a dark turn and become unhealthy, leading to negative emotional and psychological consequences. This is the case for Ziyad, a Dubai-resident from Syria, who found himself consumed by the need to always be the best in order to feel worthy and loved, a belief that was ingrained in him by his late father.
Ziyad’s intense need to excel and be number one in every aspect of his life led to feelings of isolation, depression, and even thoughts of suicide when he experienced failure or was outperformed by others. This unhealthy competitive mindset stems from childhood experiences and internalized beliefs about self-worth and success. Dr. Gurveen Ranger, a clinical psychologist, explains that unhealthy competition is often driven by a fear of failure and a rigid mindset that only values being the best or the worst, making it difficult to appreciate progress or the middle ground.
The constant pressure to outperform others and meet unrealistic standards in unhealthy competition can have serious long-term effects on mental health, such as chronic stress, burnout, depression, and anxiety. This relentless pursuit of success can also lead to social isolation as others may not respond well to negative behaviors associated with unhealthy competition. Fortunately, there are effective treatments available for individuals struggling with low self-worth and self-esteem, such as Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
For Ziyad, the journey towards healthy striving and self-compassion has been a gradual process that involved therapy and introspection to understand the root causes of his unhealthy competitiveness. Through self-compassion and reframing his definition of success, Ziyad has been able to shift away from the harmful effects of unhealthy competition towards a more balanced and sustainable approach to achieving his goals. Ultimately, breaking free from the shackles of unhealthy competition requires a deep understanding of one’s motivations and beliefs, as well as a commitment to practicing self-compassion and promoting psychological flexibility.
